Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! It’s been another hectic month, but I am trying to get through my reading goals for the year. I’m only at 44 books for the year, but I am going to try to get through 4 short books by the end! Manifest for me, please. And with that, this month’s book is A Merry Little Meet Cute by Julie Murphy and Sierra Simone. And to accompany this month’s review, I made a Bloody Mary.
Bloody Mary Recipe
2oz Vodka
~3oz Tomato or Clamato Juice
0.5oz Lemon Juice
~3-5 dashes Hot Sauce
1oz Worcestershire Sauce
~1 sprinkle Black Pepper
1tsp Horseradish
1 sprinkle Cinnamon, Nutmeg, and Allspice*
1 wedge Lemon and Lime
Celery Salt
*This is an optional ingredient.
Rim a highball glass with celery salt. Add ice and all ingredients, stir, and garnish. Enjoy!
I have to be honest right out the gate here, I hate Bloody Marys and Caesars. But it worked for my pun, so here I am. I did add a special ingredient of some cinnamon, nutmeg, and allspice to add a general Christmas-y vibe. And it was nice! So, if you’re like me and you don’t like Bloody Marys to begin with then maybe steer clear of this one. But if you’re fighting off a hangover during this holiday season then I recommend this one in the morning!
A Merry Little Meet Cute Synopsis
(from book cover)
Bee Hobbes (aka Bianca Von Honey) has a successful career as a plus-size adult film star. With a huge following and two supportive moms, Bee couldn’t ask for more. But when Bee’s favorite producer casts her to star in a Christmas movie he’s making for the squeaky-clean Hope Channel, Bee’s career is about to take a more family-friendly direction.
Forced to keep her work as Bianca under wraps, Bee quickly learns this is a task a lot easier said than done. Though it all becomes worthwhile when she discovers her co-star is none other than childhood crush Nolan Shaw, an ex-boy band member in desperate need of career rehab. Nolan’s promised his bulldog manager to keep it zipped up on set, and he will if it means he’ll be able to provide a more stable living situation for his sister and mom.
But things heat up quickly in Christmas Notch, Vermont, when Nolan recognizes his new co-star from her ClosedDoors account (oh yeah, he’s a member). Now Bee and Nolan are sneaking off for quickies on set, keeping their new relationship a secret from the Hope Channel’s execs. Things only get trickier when the reporter who torpedoed Nolan’s singing career comes snooping around—and takes an instant interest in mysterious newcomer Bee.
And if Bee and Nolan can’t keep their off-camera romance behind the scenes, then this merry little meet cute might end up on the cutting room floor.
Review
I need to preface this one with two things. One, I am not going to be very nice. Two, Grammie please stop reading now. And with those warnings done, let’s get into it.
A Merry Little Meet Cute is bad. I DNF’d after 60 pages, and it was a struggle to read that much. Now I was going to try and push through the whole thing, but it was over 400 pages (which is honestly ridiculous for any romcom) and after looking at the acknowledgements (and seeing ones I consider to be important missing) I was done.
I think the authors were hoping to cause a stir and be buzzy by having their main character be a porn star. And quite honestly, it disgusts me how these authors chose to exploit an already extremely exploited industry. As I mentioned before, I checked the acknowledgements before DNFing in hopes that they had at least spoken to a sex worker of any kind, but they hadn’t.
As someone who works closely with people from all areas of sex work (porn, OnlyFans, BDSM, strippers), I was disappointed by the blatant stereotypes and refusal to show that sex workers are normal humans. (I know Bee probably, hopefully, gains more depth throughout the novel, but she was a caricature from the start.) And I am genuinely shocked that the authors, two librarians, didn’t bother to do any research. It’s so disrespectful, entitled, and disturbing. This was written in 2022 and the authors didn’t even think to reach out to someone in sex work, they just wanted people to be shocked.
I did read some of the end of the novel to see if they pulled it around at all. And while I was still unimpressed, they did have a whole thing about how sex work is work and how the media is terrible to women especially when it comes to sex and sexuality. I think those are important things to say and I’m happy the authors at least acknowledged this. However, I feel that they’re a bit hypocritical in calling out the media for demonizing sex work when they made sex work a joke for the majority of their novel. I’m sure the authors had the best of intentions with adding comments like this about sex work in, but their lack of research makes these comments seem performative.
The writing is also terrible. It reads like a 14 year old who just hit puberty. I have to assume neither of the authors have ever spoken to an adult man based on how they wrote one. And I knew this book was going to be “spicy”, but it was just ridiculous. I was laughing out loud at the “sexy thoughts” of the characters. Also maybe it gets addressed later in the book, but someone thinking about porn 24 hours a day, including while talking to their mom and boss and while working, is called a porn addiction and they need help.
Also what happened to show don’t tell? Why are we saying “porn” 5 times a page? THEY DO PORN. I GET IT. It just really reads like a teenager’s badly written fan fiction.
A Merry Little Meet Cute is also logistically bizarre. First and foremost, there isn’t even a meet cute. Next, I happen to live about 10 minutes from where they film Hallmark Christmas movies, so I am well aware of when those movies are filmed. And it isn’t the week of Christmas, it’s June/July. And I haven’t checked, but I think a quick google search would tell you that. I know it’s to add to the Christmas setting, but have them film a Christmas movie in July, fall in love during it, and meet back up at real Christmas. I’m just saying there were better options.
The concept of the movie is also insane. I actually wondered if this book is a joke? And I’m aware that Hallmark Christmas movies can be bizarre, but it’s still so bad. My final comment about the logistics thing is if the producer guy can’t have anyone know he makes porn, why did he invite every porn person he knows and not ask them to not mention porn? Although maybe he did ask them in the novel, but of course porn industry people aren’t real people. They only know how to talk about porn, only think about porn, and are all obsessed with porn. There’s no way a costume designer would know what not-crotchless pants are, right?
Final comments on this one are to do with the other diverse representations. One, I was not impressed with how they infantilized the mom with bipolar disorder. And it basically seemed like they were just ticking a mental health box on a list of diverse subjects. Two, based on other reviews I’ve seen it does not seem like they handled the body positivity thing well. I don’t have comments myself on this, but it’s something to keep in mind if that topic was a big draw for you. Three, I will say that there was definitely a lot of diversity in this novel. However, it almost all was just ticking diversity boxes, but at least there was representation of some kind.
Well, I feel bad about that rant (I edited most the nasty comments away, but my notes are scathing). I wish I had started the novel before posting on my Instagram that it was the book I was reading for this month’s review because I would not have done it so that I didn’t have to be a mean person on the internet. But at the same time, I think it’s important to give negative comments to people who choose to use a heavily exploited industry to laugh at and further their own entitled lives. Anywho, I absolutely DO NOT recommend A Merry Little Meet Cute. And again, I only recommend the drink if you already like Bloody Mary’s or Caesars.
My Rating:
My Favourite Books of the Year:
On a positive note, here are my top books of the year (in order):
Thanks for reading! And, if you read the book or try the cocktail let me know in a comment or on Instagram. Also, if you haven’t yet read my previous reviews, I recommend reading The Most Wonderful Crime of the Year, Three Holidays and a Wedding, and The Christmas Wish if you liked this one!
Teghann
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